these are the words

04:05 am: first semester is over.
college has been so interesting.
its a shame its getting good at the end.

i love my roomies.
we're such a potluck, i cant help but feel greatful.

boys can be so wonderful.
but then just be such a pain.
solitude isnt that bad.

i s'pose it is time to go home.
im starting to feel like im scrambling.

03:35 am: The internets back and this is such a wonderful thing.
Ive been like MIA all summer and i suppose its alright.
Most of the important people see me, but then again alot of my favorites I dont see enough.

So i got my roommate info for Towson tonight. Thats pretty exciting aye? Except with this internet and such calling on the phone seems like its just way too much pressure.

Life is good. The boyfriend is wonderful. I was pretty much living at his house while his parents were away. Its weird being able to spend that much time with someone and not get tired of them, especially a sig. other.

For those who care out there in the LJ/Theater world, Ive picked up sewing again, (thanks project runway! lol JK). Anyways, its nice, atleast it'll give me an excuse to spend some time with Gussie if i get in a bind or whatever.

01:18 am: Tonight we'll make love instead of misery...
Flowers and lazy summer evenings are things a girl can get used to.
A good man and some TLC make it all more the better.
Things are wonderful, it makes me high.

Kate and the lovely Emilie and a shy little kittie make my day.
So does nic fits, sake, and a cook out with some peabody boys.

Tomorrow afternoon will be wonderful.
I hope that I can soak up every little bit of it.

summertime makes the world go round.

03:08 am: this is weird.
im at kates,
its about the usual crash time of a little bit after 3.
everyone disperses with their lovers, and i am alone.
this bed is huge, so many people could fill it.
nevertheless, i am alone.

self exploration while being solitary isnt as impowering as i foresaw it to be.

a lot of wonerful things have been going on in the last month.
i just wish ihad someone to stand by me during them.
the battery on this computer is about to run out, so maybe i should make this quick.
the 5 beers i drank tonight have done nothing for me, that is not like me.
this past month has been sobering.

1000 memories hit me at once.
sadness doesnt make me cry.
i think its being overwhelmed by everythings that different, even though the scene hasnt changed.
to quote evita, the actress hasnt learned her lines.
everything looks the same, except suprisingly a little cleaner.
the weathers about the same, atleast i were the same clothes.
chebez is gone, and that sucks.
he/she/it would atleast keep me company.
i didnt think id feel this empty.

we all sit together and love one another.
but getting up to take a piss, only one person gets kissed on the mouth.
i think of when that was aaron and i.
i think about the anticipation of finally having him alone.
then i remember all the nights i was so sleepy i oculd hardly stay awake to kiss him goodnight.
now, with almost 24 hours of my eyes open, id stay awake for another day to just share a cigarette one more time.

01:02 am: my lover is leaving me.
i know i know i've known forever.
it.just.now.hit.me.
this morning i woke up and felt like shit.
last night i feel asleep crying and smiling.
its weird, we talk like he'll be here in a few months,
like nothing is ever going to change.
like california does suck ass and should fall off the fucking country.
im so greedy and selfish about this but im tired of not being greedy and selfish.
i dont care about being justified.
things were just getting good.
we've been through so much.
excuse me if i am not myself.
reality is just pissing in my face.

12:22 pm: c'mon get crappies!
so, i left my cappies binder in cooper's car, therefore i wont be writing my reviews, therefore i wont be voting. therefore im just fucking up one aspect of my life after another.

my grades, oh how they slip. straight A's one semester, to the medicocrity of B's all across the board, and thats if im lucky.
i dont know how i became such a fuck up so fast, its amazing how that happens isnt it?

plainly put, last weekend was really wonderful i must say.
saturday and sunday were spent with old and new friends. and of course aimless driving and eventual breakfest with the boy never fails to make me happy.

i wish i didnt have to go to the pizza shop, id much rather dance to loud music this evening.

xo

04:47 pm: Hey There Delilah
So plain white ts are my favorite now.
i just wanted to let the world know...

im in the library currently and avoiding homework.
hannah had to be kind enough to inform me that these bcpl computers dont have restrictions, that can be dangerous i suppose?

its a share how bad we've fucked up the world.
the weather is all wacked out.
today i didnt walk to the doctors office mainly because i was just too lazy.
now thinking back, was it worth it?
how long is this air going to be gone?
will my great grand kids be able to go out in the sun without 50some SPF and burn in the ozoneless sunshine?
will the glaciers melt and suddenly the roads will turn to rivers?

anyways, im looking forward to cruise right into spring break and then the summer.
then of course towson. its nice to have the secruity of just knowing what the hell im going to be doing with myself for atleast the next year. after i sign myself away on may 1st, ill atleast have school worked out, even if i can hardly count on anything else.

speaking of school, i look forward to body worlds next week. any other eaders going? its so conveinent school is going because i was going to go anyways. ever since the summer i've been looking forward to its arrival. nevertheless, i wish kate and co were going to be there to accompany me.

every wednesday is now my mommas and i's time. this is definately nice. we're actually begining to talk about things. school, friends, BOYS! (something we hardly talked about except superficially) I actually enjoy the time we spend together these days.

is it rediculous to be nervous about going to the hint show because i got into a nasty car accident last time i went to one of their shows? ahh im superstitious, ill admit!

xoxo

12:04 am: here i am livejournal world!

so senior year is cruising right along and im getting more into high school then ever so far this year.
my classes hard really hard but i dont mind too much i suppose.
in case anyone has heard my cough, i dont have the whooping cough thank you very much, it just gets scrratchy and itchy and stuff.

tomorrow is someone's birthdya and i wont be able to see him.
in my opinion this really fucking sucks.
nevertheless, i will survive, you kinda have to right?

this evening was nice with my mom.
tonight for possibly the first time ever, we were just too beat to do any shopping and melted down into the booths of TGI FRIDAYS in Towson. This was exceptionally nice i must say. Especailly after watching a dr,phil of fucked up mothers and daughters, i was like whoa, we need to make sure we're not like that when we grow up.

speaking of talk shows, did anyone catch the oprah today. it was about that show intervention. they showed a girl who had literally lost a wonderful and bright future as a white house intern and a full scholarshiip to somewhere because she got addicted to crack while at her internship. she did all the "normal" rec drugs of high school, yet then became a crack addict after all the achievements she had made while [artying it up on the sly. this was crazy, but nevertheless, that wasnt what erked me.

there was another iglr on there who was a cutter. for some reason, she just really got on my nerves. i was resentful towards her, and dint understand wtf her deal was at points. i hate to seem anti-sympathetic livejournal land! they were showing video diary of her mutilating herself and i felt awful for her at some points, i must admit. but the way she acted towards other people sometimes rell pissed me off. maybe it is because i see how i can treat people in her or something like that. nevertheless, watching it made me want to throw up.

on a lighter note, happy PI day everyone. i have discovered in my wise old senior years, that the hottestof the hotties are always the "nerds" and misfits. for example, all those sexy actors, they were at one time theater kids just like the rest of us. and science kids are just looking increasingly hott.

too many hormones floating around in this LJ entry.
enjoy!
xo

12:07 am: theres ghosts in this house
i miss waking up to that boy.
hes so cute when hes got his sleepy face on.
xo

11:03 pm: matts house
"Laura, you are just like Karen on Will and Grace"
you would do anything, to anyone, and just not give a fuck!
HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!

play on, play out.

06:41 pm: snowy mornings into afternoons.
hmmm, i wonder if he'll forget about the west coast for a while.
weekends like this make the world go round i believe.

kate and co are just so wonderful.
nevertheless the abridged theaterfest this friday gave me hereford love. which was definately nice.
it feels like all i've been doing for the past 72 hours is eating alot of food.
xoxoxo

10:53 pm: hes talking and talking and i cant hear a thing.
hes explaining and explaining and i think im just choking.
the west coast steals lovers,
but lovers will steal yr dreams.

09:43 pm: alright kids, i didnt go to rosies tech portfolio meeting.
*IM SURE I GOT TO SCHOOL LATE AND DIDNT HEAR THE ANOUNCEMENT, KAY?!*
anyways,
what exactly does it intale?
please leave some info.
im so out of the loop.
can i pull one together in 48 hours?
xoxo

05:23 pm: this is what dead feels like.

08:49 pm: I tell everyone
I smile just because
I got a city love
I found it in Lydia
and I can't remember life before

the day she called up and came to me
covered in rain
dinnertime shadowing
and as the clothes spun
we spooned and I knew I was through
when I said, "I love you"

itslovelikethat.
so fuck off bitches.

11:51 pm: attention K-MART shoppers
so dear friends, readers, ghosts, etc....
charlotte bennedetto, of aaron's crazy ass roomate at the copy cat fame has left a string of nasty comments on my LJ and such. please feel free to read them and have a good laugh.
ive also got a page on craigs list, apparently im looking to make some money these days?
she jacked some info from my myspace, and even used my livejournal user pic.
shes totally funny, its a shame shes so fat and crazy.
and for technicalities, cos she'll definately pull all this shit out of context, if it wasnt her, it was one of her cronies, you guys all know how that shit works out.
http://baltimore.craigslist.org/cas/127165240.html

my craigs list page, you know i gotta make them dollahs!

06:34 pm: happy new year, what a year i anticipate it to be.
spending last night with certain faces was quite symbolic of a new years past.
phone conversations were the foreshadowing of the year to come.

laying on my tummy on kates living floor,
im pondering what will come of all of this.

nevertheless, i need to do my AP English work, but i dont have my binder.
would someone enlighten me about IRP number 2. just give me a synopsis, i did a readers response log. i dont want to seem like a aslacker, im really not. but some help would be wonderful and recipricated at the soonest convienence. (sp?)

did everyone havea good new years celebration?
i wish kate wasnt leaving for france in 2 days.
i dont know what im going to do with myself.

xo
LAURAAAAAAAAAAAA

09:41 pm: hrmm, merry christmas?
i just arrived to 15856 a bit ago.
(we wouldnt want to say "home" now would we kids, i mean thats just getting a little carried away with ourselves, isnt it?)
i enjoyed spending the majority of my day with kate.
i wonder if i could've just stayed with her during this christmas bullshit.
i doubt ill wrapp tackyass paper around the half-thought gifts for my mom.

i wonder why, you cant spend time with someone you love.
how come 5 months is sucha meaningless thing to people?
i wonder if my mom really understands.
i wonder if she remembers what it feels like.
oh wait, she cant.
she backed out of her 20 year marriage to grow old with a 65 year old nazi.

this is what resentment tastes like.
i cant wait to not live here next year.
i definately will not be here for christmas, ill tell her the 20 exits down 83 is just ohsotoomuch of a drive for me make.

its a shame,
trying to be nice, i just know its all a front.
because when it gets down to something of importance, everything just falls apart.

06:14 pm: oh what a night.
late december back at 1513...
oh what a lady what a night...

its interesting how you can look at your life and see how its all just a series of cycles.
its quite archetypal in a sense.
i.totally.spelled.that.wrong.

i love walking out of kates house all bundeled up.

03:20 pm: burned stinky turkey grease
mm thanksgiving, how wonderful, except i think im kinda sick with fevery and a little sore/sticky throat.
at my pops house for shiz, my brothers SO came with us to. (thats signigificant other if you aint too slick). its really quite nice to be here, since i haven't been since thefirst week in august, it's kinda odd how time just kinda slips by. speaking of which, i look forward to seeing a few old faces this weekend, from richmond and in hereford. especially that dear old anne hill, my love.

guess what? we had flames in the kitchen today, whoo whoo! grease from the hew-mun-gus turkeybirdthing dripped onto the elements of the oven, first being smokey, then being flames! it was quite exciting, just like our good ole' Pedersen crew during the holidays. 1)Kitchen Fire 2)Fight 3) I love you are you okay 4)lets go look at old pictures. tehehehe, i hope im as quarky when i grow up. maybe i already am?

xo